Shop til ya drop.....

I fit into the stereotype that women LUV to shop, and I'm okay with that. However, that is NOT the subject of my blog today. No...today I would like to talk about where to shop for something slightly more elusive than a great pair of shoes. A MAN! Or, in some of my reader's case..A WOMAN! A new friend of mine recently asked me where he should go to meet women. I suggested a shoe store, but that answer didn't seem to satisfy him, thus "THE BLOG."

Let's take a look at a few places that I've heard recommended by others and a few that I think are bright ideas. First is the supermarket/grocery store..or as we call it here in the south..simply "The Store." I think this is as good a place as any to meet somebody new. I mean everyone HAS to eat, so there's not really any particular kind of crowd that gathers there. It's not like an art exhibit where only snobby rich, incredibly boring, or creative to the point of mental illness..people hang out. I'm kidding..I actually like art exhibits. Not that I've actually been to one, but I think I would enjoy it if I were to go. Oh..shoot! That would mean I fall into one of the aforesaid categories wouldn't it? Oh..Nevermind...strike the whole art exhibit thing from the record!

Okay, back to "The Store." You can very casually strole by someone and notice if their left ring finger is sportin' some bling or NOT. You can also tell a lot by what someone has in his or her basket. For instance..you might want to say "Hello" to a person buying a tube of extra-whitening toothpaste, and steer clear of someone buying a tube of hemorrhoid cream. Single people usually carry a hand basket, while people who are in a serious relationship or who are married usually have a cart. Single people don't make time to go grocery shopping every week or even once a month. Instead they end up making about 6 trips per week for frozen dinners, chunky monkey ice cream and diet coke. There are lots of opportunities for spontaneous conversation. Such as.."Excuse me...can you reach that bag of chips on the top shelf?" Or..."Pardon me. I don't mean to intrude, but I noticed you have a box of pasta in your basket. Could you tell me where you found it?" (Insert witty comment about your sense of direction here.) This is the part where you get your flirt on, and make the 4 and a half second encounter so memorable that the object of your attraction follows you down the next aisle. It's a very small window of opportunity, but it can be done! Don't forget to look in the produce section. You might find a nice pineapple! Sorry..I know that was corny, but I couldn’t resist. Besides, I’m not exactly boycotting “Corny” on this site.

The coffee shop seems to be a popular place to meet and greet in today's society. But I find that I feel a little uncomfortable when I go there alone. I feel as if the whole room is looking me up and down and not liking what they see. They're sizing me up and placing me in a category. They banish me with their looks of disinterest to the farthest dark corner. They naturally assume that I came for more than coffee, but the truth is I was just really cravin' a Grande cafe' mocha. I don't know, maybe it works for some people, but I don't feel the vibe. It's a great place to go with friends. They protect you from the glaring eyes of the coffee conosuiers.

I really do think that church, as unromantic as that sounds, IS a good place to meet people. However, you have to be going to a church that has something to offer people your age or else you will wind up becoming a toy for the older people in the church to play with. That could sound really strange and kinda gross, but we’re NOT going to go there. Oops..I just did, didn’t I?

First they will call you up in front of the church for public prayer about your love life. Then they will all tell you about this person they know that is absolutely PERFECT for YOU! Sometimes they even bring pictures of these odd looking loved ones who are likely very UNDERSTANDABLY SINGLE, and usually way too young or older than your dad. If you refuse to give them your phone number or call their pretty granddaughter yourself, then these kind hearted, well meaning people start bringing little guests to church. Somehow on that particular Sunday every seat in the house will be conveniently unavailable. Except of course for the incredibly small space next to you. Which means that you and this stranger will have to sit awkwardly close together. Let's not even begin to talk about Sunday dinner after the service.

If you attend a church that has people your age, even if there's not anyone there for you at this time..there likely WILL BE. The NON-possibilities that attend church with you are links to other people your age who very well MAY be possibilities. I suggest that you make such good friends with the NON-possibilities, that you are the FIRST person they think of when their guy or girl FRIEND is complaining about wanting to meet someone new.

I think the mall is a terrible place to meet a MAN. However it could be a very promising hunting ground for you guys! Otherwise the mall is full of teeny boppers, gay men, married men being tortured by their wives or single men who are on a mission to find a particular item of clothing and they can neither see nor notice anything else around them. They have waited until their shoes have holes in them, and they have worked for 3 weeks to get up the energy to drag themselves into a shoe store long enough to find their size in anything that remotely resembles a shoe, purchase it, and escape before they get lost in the sea of garments slowly closing in on them.

I think music stores are a novel idea! You can tell a lot by the kind of music a person likes. Go hang out in your favorite section and wait. The hardest part is getting up the courage to open your mouth and talk to a stranger. But hey..this gives you a thousand and one opportunities to start a convo. I have a few guy friends who could really be impressive with their knowledge of music, and totally WOW a girl. Then again, there is a fine line..between.."I LOVE MUSIC!" and..."I HAVE NO LIFE!" For the first conversation you should go with the "I LOVE MUSIC," side. Later...maybe after about 3 dates you could tell her the truth. "I HAVE NO LIFE!"

Well...I'm still brainstorming on places to meet people. Ya'll got any ideas? BTW..Thanks for all the comments! I'm back from vacation, and I'm ready to share more insanity with you, so be prepared for more frequent updates. Unless of course..no one comments. LOL