STAND

I know I may have some bloggers upset because I'm not talking about Apples and Pineapples, but sometimes you just need a break from all that! Ya know, no matter how much time I spend analyzing it all,it seems to be in vain. I haven't had any revelations yet that helped me that much. I'm still single! I would really like to spend like a week on the other side of things(in coupledom), just so I have something new to analyze.

There's this great little one bedroom apartment downtown. It has a two story entryway with a winding staircase up to the top floor. Sunlight streams in through the stained-glass window. On the second floor there are just three rooms. Big enough for company, and small enough to feel cozy. With hard wood floors throughout,12ft. ceilings and a fireplace, it's my DREAM apartment. Something that I've imagined all my life when I've thought of living on my own. But, no matter how hard I try to figure out my budget to allow for this dream, it doesn't work. It's actually relatively inexpensive, but my meager living doesn't allow for even it's fair price.

Once again God is using a situation in my life to teach me about something else that's completely unrelated. This situation has taught me TRUST. I have done all I can do in this circumstance. A higher paying job is not an option at this point. I would simply be trading one dream for another, when I want to posess them both. I love my job, and even more importantly I know that it's where God has placed me for the time being. Roomate options have been exhausted to no avail. So, I must trust. My life is in God's hands. I know my steps are ordered by Him. He will give me the desires of my heart, but I have prayed, "Lord your will be done in my life." Therefore, unless my desires line up with His, they are unlikely to happen. (I end up thanking him for those unanswered prayers) I'm believing that it must not be time for me to leave home. That must not be the place for me. At least not now. If it were time, then God would make a way where there seems to be NO way.

Yeah...I'm makin' this sound so easy, but I'm having a terrible time accepting this. Trust is HARD! But, you know God...He's got to go even deeper. So, today He was showing me how that applies to so many areas of my life. Friendships, romance, my ministry and my craft. (I'm not talkin' needle point people!) I should do all I can do, and then just STAND. I think that's what that scripture really means. At least that's what it means TODAY for me. "When you have done all to do, stand therefore." I think that's how it goes. Don't crucify me if I got a word or two wrong. I guess I'm too lazy right now to look it up. Anyway, I think He was telling us to stand still and trust that He is working for us. That we don't have to do all the work, and that there are SOME things we CAN'T do for ourselves. Only He can. Or maybe we can make a way, but He wants to make a BETTER one for us. Maybe we should just rest and trust that He has our best interest at heart, and He knows our dreams and desires, but sometimes we don't dream BIG enough. He may have more, if we'll just be patient and wait. It's really really hard, but I'm going to keep trying to do it anyway.