The Voices in my Head

C'mon admit it! You have them too. Everyone does. Sometimes they tell you to do GOOD things, and sometimes they tell you to do STUPID things. Lately I've been more and more aware of them, and started to wonder where they come from. For instance, yesterday I walked into a public restroom and heard a voice say, "Don't go in the first stall!" I realized it was my mother's voice in my head, and then I wondered.."Why?" All these years, I've been avoiding the dreaded "FIRST STALL," but I have absolutely NO idea why. So, I decided to change that. I did it! I went into the first stall! I didn't discover anything frightening or out of the ordinary in there, and to tell you the truth it was sort of liberating to not listen to "The Voice." "The Voice" isn't always my mother. Sometimes it's a friend or other family member, but most of the time it's my own voice. I still don't understand why my mother would have taught me to never go into the first stall but I intend to ask her about it. It's interesting to think that I have created habits based on someone else's opinions and logic. Most of which I have NO understanding of. That's a deep subject which I will let rest for the moment. Back to the voices....

What about the voice that tells you that two of your friends should meet? Because you get along so well with them both, you think it would be a perfect world for YOU if they became friends. Then you could all go to the movies together and lunch together and you wouldn't have to divide your time between them. I don't know if you've ever tried this, but as a word of advice from someone who has tried a failed several times...DON'T DO IT! There are one of two possibilities. Both of which are equally depressing and potentially scaring.

Possibility A>

The moment they make eye contact there is an instant battle that begins to see who knows the most about YOU, who has known you the longest, and who has been through more with you. They disguise this full on frontal assault with cheesy smiles and silly giggle like laughs that you've never heard before, and frankly are frightening. I don't know how it is for guys. They probably just grunt and snort or see who can fart the loudest or something. For girls it's all about the mind games and making the competition feel insecure and exalting yourself to a higher level of superiority. For you it's embarrassing, and somehow encouraging all at the same time. Suddenly one of the friends will have to leave citing a less than believable excuse, and then the REAL fun begins. For the next several days you will be subjected to hearing two of your favorite friends royally bash each other to your face. You will have to delicately "ride the fence" choosing not to concede your high opinion of either friend to the other. This is a lethal balancing act that can force you to choose or loose. No fun. This whole experience leaves you wondering why two people who seem to understand YOU and in some cases mirror your personality cannot get along. It causes you to examine if one friend perhaps represents one side of you and the other friend represents a separate yet still interesting and wonderful side of you. You have the opportunity to view the battle between me, myself and I that goes on within you on a sometimes-daily basis.

Possibility B>

You're friends could of course hit it off beautifully. Though sometimes they hit it off too well, and unlike option A, they begin to tell each other stories of your stupidity and bring out all your WORST qualities. Now, it's not that neither of them didn't know these facts about you before, but no one wants to have that kind of thing rubbed in their face. They create an unbreakable bond based on YOUR embarrassment. It's very discouraging, which is bad enough. But the real kicker comes, when you talk to one of them a week later and find out that they've been spending a lot of time with their "new friend," and have less time for YOU. So once again...you LOSE! So again I say.."Don't Do It!"

There are plenty of other times that the "voices" interfere with life too. For instance...last night a few friends and I were discussing someone's odd behavior, and trying our best to come up with a logical reason for it. As women we have to analyze not only our own actions but everyone else's around us as well. Being the creative person that I am I said something completely off the wall, half serious and half going for the shock factor. Well, the shock factor is exactly what I got! Only I was the one in shock when my friends turned on me and started kidding me about what I had said. NO..I will not share it, because I have too many friends that read this blog that would take full advantage of this public opportunity to embarrass me further. Let's just say that my so-called "Friends" made the rest of the evening quite uncomfortable for me as they then analyzed ME! Why I said such a thing. Why I thought such a thing. And whether or not it was really my secret fantasy. Let me reiterate for the sake of those who were in attendance that the answer is NO! For the rest of you..You will just have to wonder.

Overall I've come to the conclusion that I shouldn't listen to the voices. The ratio of times they help me to times they hurt me is staggeringly weighted in the negative. That is all for now.