Do..Re...Me..Fa..So..La...Ti...

So I wrote a new song today. I'm really excited about it. Well, I can't really say that I wrote it TODAY. I've had the idea for about 4 years! I just haven't been able to write it. I've just left the idea written on a coke stained napkin underneath my bed with all the other wierd pieces of things I write songs on. I would share the idea with ya, but you'll just have to wait til it's copywritten. LOL

I go through seasons when it's so hard to write,and then times when I wish I could spend everyday working on my music. I wrote my first song when I was 7. Yeh..I know you don't believe me, but I still have it. Granted it doesn't make any sense. My spelling has improved slightly since then. I didn't want to be a songwriter. In fact I specifically remember praying..."God I'll be a missionary to Africa, and wear really ugly bramuda shorts, if you DON'T ask me to be a songwriter." My Dad is a songwriter, and I've seen him write some great songs, that actually got published, recorded and charted and he got NO recognition in any way for them. Not that I'm after recognition, but I've seen others get credit for the work HE did. That's frustrating for anyone.I also saw that he started out as a singer and ended up a songwriter. I guess I thought songwriting was somehow less than singing. I didn't want to give up singing for anything. If I could only do one, then it was going to be singing! I've since realized that a singer is not a singer without a song.

When I was 15, I finally got sick of the lyrics and melodies banging together in my head. It felt so full of ideas, that I was convinced I would go crazy if I didn't write them down. I think I was inspired by Carmen in those days, so you really don't want to hear what one of those songs sounds like. Then I wrote a song that I was really proud of. The problem was that it ended up sounding just like the theme song for "Step by Step" the sitcom. It was cleaverly entitled, "Step by Step." I kept writing as we traveled down the road. I spent hours in the back of the bus singing at the top of my lungs. I have tapes where you can barely hear what I'm singing over the roar of the 1956 bus engine. They weren't exactly quiet running engines back in those days. At 18 I had my first song published, and my family and I recorded it. Later that year I had my first Country song published and put into a christian movie. The movie was sold at Walmart and Lifeway Christian Stores. That was pretty exciting. I thought I was really on my way as a songwriter. Since then I've written some praise and worship stuff for my church, but other than that, it's been pretty sparse. This year though, suddenly I'm writing like crazy. I'm finishing pieces of songs that I've had for years, and coming up with new ideas all the time. It's so exciting. It's a great creative outlet for me, and I feel like I'm really accomplishing something just by writing. I haven't really pursued getting anything published or recorded. It's so hard to pitch your own songs. I could sell one of my songwriter friends songs to anyone, but selling MY song is a completly different story. I don't really know what to do about that. LOL I've been praying about it. I certainly don't think I'm the world's best, and frankly feel quite inadequate to co-write with any of my friends. I write with them anyway, and enjoy it emensly. I just think they are being awfully gracious to allow me to collaborate with them. I do however think that I have the ability and desire to learn the craft and am looking for opportunities to cultivate it more within myself. I have a few friends who really encourage me in my songwriting. They don't know how inadequate I feel in this area, nor how much they have helped inspire me to start writing again. Every word they say about my songs, makes me want to write 100 more!

I am so grateful to have friends who "Get" that about me. I have known too many people who "think" that they have the gift of songwriting. I have heard too many really BAD songs. They're kind of like the American Idol audition type of people. Ya know the ones who think they can sing, but can't carry a tune in a bucket? My friends make me feel like I'm NOT a part of that crowd. They validate me, and make me feel like I have a chance at this. I don't see myself being a songwriter full-time. I know people who live off of their songs. I will be happy with whatever level of success God grants me. The point is to move someone through music. That's what I want to do. Whether it be through singing or songwriting or both. Thanks for tuning in to my brain for a while. It's nearly midnight, and wouldn't ya know it? Talking about writing has inspired me to write another song! So off I go, burning the midnight oil. Why does my inspiration always seem to come so late at night? LOL Luv!