Orange Crush

Recently I was asked, "When was your last crush?" I replied by saying it must have been two years ago now. Sad, but true there is a major shortage of men in my world. At least single, somewhat attractive, clinically sane ones. Apparently there was a sale on crazy and my town bought in bulk.

Unfortunately my answer was quickly challenged, by a sometimes annoying little creature, that I call my sister. Like a Scribe unrolling the dead sea scrolls, she revealed a long list of men who had for but a moment visited Leah Land. These visitors in my defense were often just passing through, and I was obligated to be hospitable.

This rather embarrassing moment that made me seem a little more desperate than I'd like to admit, created an interesting string of thought. What constitutes a "crush?" What is it's definition? Is it different for each person?

My sister has a very, very short list. I'm not sure if the list I'm aware of is her actual crush list or just the one that she allows everyone to see. She's kind of sneaky that way. I find it hard to believe that she's 25, and has a list I only need one hand to count. Keep in mind, I'm talking about a "crush," not love, not a relationship.

First I think the word "crush" implies a little bit of infatuation. Perhaps the reason I was so offended at the implication of being quick to crush, was that it may mean I have an obsessive personality. I will not waste my breath disputing this fact. What I would like to dispute is the belief that brief obsession rises to the level of being labeled a "crush" and being added to my apparently every growing list of them.

So here are some questions. How long must an obsession last before being labeled a crush? What is considered obsession? Is obsession all that is needed to be called a crush?

Here are some answers. An obsession must last for longer than a month. Often random circumstances in your life cause you to be attracted to a certain person. You need to wait long enough for those circumstances to change, and your crush to remain for it to be a certified "crush." Obsession is not only defined by how much you think about a person, or talk about a person, but also how much time you spend stalking them on facebook, Myspace, Twitter or other social networking sites. It is also dependent on how much actual talk time you have with the person, and not with the fantasy image of them you have in your head or the pretend conversations you have with them while driving in your car. And last, but certainly not least, much more than obsession is needed to be officially considered a "crush." A crush in my world consists of Attraction+Obsession+Actual Connection+Time.

Using this formula, I have managed to eliminate the majority of the so called "crushes" my sister cited during this unfortunate conversation. Therefore restoring balance and harmony to my world. Now my list, though admittedly longer than hers is still within the acceptable range of someone my age. Yes...I am much more comfortable with this.

To apply for official certification of a crush, fill out the form below and file with the nearest Leah.

Level of Attraction: (please circle one)
Make you smile Make you giggle like a school girl Make you drool Make you speechless

Level of Obsession: (please circle one)
intrigued interested enamored seeing hearts and hearing the wedding march

Level of Connection: (please circle one)
acquaintances friends best buds friends with benefits soul mates

Today's date:
Date of first attraction: